How do I stop worrying in a long distance relationship?
Brianna asks: “My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two months now, but it’s a completely long distance thing. We rarely ever get to see each other (maybe once a month or so), and I’m really worried that we won’t work out. What should I do?”
Brianna,
Your question actually comes at the perfect time. I’m in something of a long distance “relationship” as well, so I’m able to speak from experience. And to be perfectly honest, I am just as worried (if not more so) about what’s going to happen as you are!
And you know what?
That’s totally fine!
Relationships are meant to be a little scary at first — it’s all part of the fun, right? Not knowing what to expect. Not knowing what comes next. Not knowing what he’s thinking, or what she’s thinking, or what’s right around the corner. The nerves and worries are all a part of the dating process, and long distance relationships are no exception.
So what should you do?
Well, the first step is realizing that it is totally human to worry a little bit while in a long distance relationship. It’s a sign that you care, and you should embrace it as a positive thing (especially if you want things to work out). Accept that your feelings are valid and have a little confidence in yourself! Nothing is wrong with you for wanting things to work out. So stop stressing, okay?
Secondly, I’ve found that keeping an open line of communication is the most important part of any relationship — long distance or not. So if you really just need to get those worries off of your chest, let him know! Allowing those feelings just build up inside of you is going to make you explode. And in a long distance relationship, honesty is definitely the best policy. If you need reassurance from him, just ask him for it! This may come as a shock to you, but no, boys actually can’t read our minds. Who knows? Maybe he’s just as worried as you are! So open up to him. It helps build that trust that you both need to keep those worry-warts at bay.
And finally, never be afraid to reach out to the people who care about you (like friends or family), or to indulge in the things that make you happy. In a long distance relationship, you are given a rare opportunity to explore a large amount of “personal space”. Take advantage of that. With all the time that you and your mate spend apart, you could be pursuing things that make you happy as an individual rather than as a couple. Occupy yourself with things that you enjoy. By pampering yourself and keeping your mind busy, you’ll spend more time being satisfied and less time worrying.
To our readers here on TheFlirtBlog.com, do you have any advice for Brianna? And if you have any questions of your own or just need to get something off of your chest, be sure to let us know (anonymous or not)! Sometimes, it helps to get another person’s opinion when it comes to matters of the heart.
So as always? Happy flirting, Skouts.
XOXO Cheri XOXO
I have been going through a long distant relationship he was over seas while I was in Canada when I went to where he lived to c him it was love but on the phone we would fight everyday and than I sponsered him to come here and he ditched me off so it hurts but in sometimes like my best friend she is in love brang him here n now they are married with 2 adorable kids so there is a good and bad side for every relationship
@Athoubi
Long distance can be incredibly difficult. You lack the physical closeness, and so a lot of the relationship that you might’ve been able to develop easily becomes needlessly difficult. It’s happened to me before and I can definitely understand your situation.
@Cheri
ya the thing is I’m over it now just the divorce papers are still being processed so I’m waitin for that to finish and now everyone is pressuring me to send him back to the middle east but it’s like I don’t care if he is here so I’m getting pressured from both sides and sucha headache
Pretty beneficial post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have incredibly enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I am going to be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write-up once again soon.
I’m in a ‘LDR’ and communicate with email and skype only. Haven’t actually even met the lady. I’m not fooled by the twilight zone aspect of the interaction and expect nothing from it ( I can hope though). Those in similar situations should be aware of some potential health hazards::
http://www.haaretz.com/print-edition/news/study-prolonged-internet-use-may-cause-psychotic-episodes-1.265672
just trying to be helpful….
Thanks for the great post!
Awesome
Well said…
In my experience, trust is the hardest thing. I can be lost simply by the lack of intimacy, so your partner talking to someone else will anger you and play on your mind. It’s very hard to control but if your both serious about each other, then patience, honesty and finding time for each other is a must. Love is a very strong emotion, but once broken very hard to repair
@Matt
“Love is a very strong emotion, but once broken very hard to repair.”
Well said, Matt! Noticed that you’ve been commenting lately. Hello.
– Cheri
i know one thing that bothers me in mine is that in the beginning we talked and text all day everyday about anything and everything then he introduced me to his family and ex-wife and all that stopped ! it really bothered me when he began texting and talking to my 15 yr old daughter ; but didn’t have the time for me!
I love him! but not like I did! I feel as though I’ve lost alot of respect , cause I don’t understand what happened!
How do u get over someone if u can’t even get over him I mean everything was good till one day it’s all gone cause of putting work in front of his girl? Every little thing I do reminds me of him even if I didn’t mean to do it looking at a blind date I always c him but I don’t noe if he is thinking the same way so how do u get over someone
Unless you have agreed upon a definite plan that will allow you to be together in the future, end it now. I’ve tried long distance, and unless you or the other person is willing to compromise(usually friends and family/happiness) to move and be together, it’ll never work. You are the only one responsible for your own happiness or …misery.
Long distant relationships are for idiots. Find some one close and then you can relax.
@Spartagon, I’m in a long-distance relationship, am happy, and not an idiot. Cheers!
Long distance relationship is preety cool. Both parties at least have their own quality time to spend with their friends & family. I have one friend who had this long distance thingy, yes it looks scarry n unstable for the first 1-2 months… but now they both are happily married after 2 1/2 years long distance relationship.. All the best dear !!!!
Stop the stress woman! Love should be happy n lift u up . There ain’t a shortage of men , get ur sexy ass out there n show ur boyfriend why he needs to be by ur side
If u don’t know what your boy/girlfriend is doing get a friend from up their to look after him/her
Hey I’m sorry to be a downer but a LDR is not what they are cracked up to be, my last LDR I was in lasted for 3yrs, we were set to get hiched and everything, one weekend I though I’ll surprised her by flying up to her one weekend, and yea she had a bloke at her place in bed with her, sorry to say but most LDRs don’t work. But with saying all that I hope it does work out for you thou.
I’m in an LDR..as long as there is T R U S T… nothing to worry.. it holds to a promise……I”M NOT AN IDIOT
SINGLE LIFE RULES!!
no commitmnt to anyone. livin single is so stress-free. u can hsve friends w/ benefits, and im sure the list goes on, i just dont feel like thinking. its 305am and im tired lol.
I’m In long Distance Relationship, and I’m Worried right Now Don’t know what to do.. He lives in the Uk an I live In Canada.. I spoke with him and I told me that he will be on skype It Took Him Like 4 hours and I try to reach him but his phone is completely off I even text his friend and he said I cant reach him… I’m worried and cant go to bed like this..
Soo sheena my boyfriend is in Turkay and i in swizzerland!
You Most write him letters and phone him! Couse my boyfriend is working and dont Call me back soo is inpossible!
I know my english is bab but im swiss =)
Just chill and relax and I definalety think that you ethier need to break up or try to see him more often it will save you heart loss